Heroic Pro Athlete Intervenes to Stop Assault by Diddy

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Currently, there are almost 200 legal actions alleging that Diddy committed sexual assault.

The individuals making these allegations comprise men, women, and minors (So far, no animals involved.)

The most recent high-profile case concerns an unidentified professional athlete.

In a lawsuit submitted over the weekend, a man claimed that Puff instructed him to come to a secluded office during a Ciroc event.

Upon his arrival, he discovered that The Diddler had indulged in some vodka.  The intoxicated tycoon exposed himself and then began groping the man’s privates, squeezing them through his trousers in an “aggressive and sexual” manner.  (As opposed to any other way one might grab genitalia.)

Fortunately for the man, the professional athlete came into the office and “stepped in,” putting an end to the ordeal.

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